A list of nevers:

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and
heavier.     -Anonymous

Never accept a drink from a urologist. - Erma Bombeck

Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother
to hear at your trial. -Sydney Biddle Barrows, the "Mayflower Madam"

Never say "Oops" in the operating room. - Dr. Leo Troy

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or
"size" with "rear end". Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
- Tim Allen

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying
for the job of umpire. - Dan Zevin

Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys
them very much. - G.K. Chesterton

Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end
to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's
always gonna be me!" - Rita Rudner


Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.
- Ruth Gordon