The Perfect Day

 The perfect day for her:

 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
 8:30 Weigh in five pounds lighter than yesterday
 8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and hot, buttered
	croissants
 9:15 Soothing hot bath with lilac bath oil with bubbles
 10:00 Light workout at the club with handsome, funny personal trainer
 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor Mexican Cafe and margarita's
 1:00 Shopping with friend in New York, with unlimited credit on
	the stores
 3:00 Nap
 4:00 Three dozen roses delivered from florist, card signed secret admirer
 4:15 Bottle of Fine Wine and light music
 5:30 Dressed by fine designer for dinner
 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
 10:00 Hot shower - alone
 10:30 Make love
 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
 11:15 Fall asleep in big strong arms

 And now, the perfect day for him:

 6:00 Alarm
 6:15 Blowjob
 6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
 7:00 Breakfast:  filet mignon, eggs, toast and coffee
 7:30 Limo arrives
 7:45 Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
 8:15 Private Lear Jet G4 to Augusta, Georgia
 9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
 9:45 Front nine at Augusta (two under)
 11:45 Lunch:  two dozen oysters-on-the-half-shell; three Heinekens
 12:15 Blowjob
 12:30 Back nine at Augusta (four under)
 2:30 Limo back to airport (Bombay Martini)
 2:45 Private jet from Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
 3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female, topless crew
 4:00 Land world record light tackle Marlin (1250 lbs.)
 5:00 Private jet home, massage and blowjob enroute by naked Kathy Ireland
 6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
 7:00 Watch CNN Newsflash:  Clinton resigns - Hillary and Al Gore Farm
	Animal Video released and authenticated
 7:30 Dinner:  lobster appetizer, Dom Perigon(1963), 20oz Prime Rib
 9:00 Remy Martini and Cuban, Cohiba Cigar
 11:00 Massage and jacuzzi
 11:45 Bed alone - so tired
 11:50 Twelve second, Four note FART (dog leaves room)
 11:55 Fall Asleep