President's Speech in Ebonics

 Good evening...
 (Yo Yo Yo, s'up?).

 Clinton: This afternoon in this room, from this chair, I testified
 before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury.

 Translation: Today at my crib these suckers and playa-haters started
 grillin' a brotha.

 Clinton: I answered their questions truthfully, including question about
 my private life, questions no American citizen would ever want to
 answer.

 Translation: Dey started frontin' about my game and asking all kinds of
 fowl sh-t.

 Clinton: Still, I must take complete responsibility for all my actions,
 both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight.

 Translation: I'm tired of these haters throwing salt in my game. I'm
 gonna let yall know my Mackin style tonight.

 Clinton: As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions
 about my relationship with Monica Lewinsky. While my answers were
 legally accurate, I did not volunteer information.

 Translation: Awhile back, you nosey motherf----rs wanted to know if I
 was hittin' hoe-ass Monica's skins. You ain't got no video, so if you want
 to believe a $10 hoe then oh well.

 Clinton: Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms. Levwinsky that was
 not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse
 in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and
 completely responsible.

 Translation: Yeah, I was hittin' that dime dropping Bit-h! She was only
 sucking my jammie though. I was stupid for messing with a young big
 mouthed skank. My bag, but don't hate me because I'm a playa.

 Clinton: But I told the grand jury today and I say to you now that at no
 time did I ask anyone to lie, to hide or destroy evidence.

 Translation: Outside of that hit I told punk-ass AG (Al Gore) to put on
 gay-ass Star, Monica and her snitching friend, I was chill the whole
 time.

 Clinton: I can only tell you I was motivated by many factors. First, by
 a desire to protect myself from the embarrassment of my own conduct.

 Translation: Check dis, I heard she was down with what ever, you know a
 freak ass beiach. She wasn't all that but I planned to pimp her around
 to my boyz in the Senate.

 Clinton: The independent counsel investigation moved on to my staff and
 friends, then into my private life. And now the investigation itself is
 under investigation.

 Translation: Those haters started sweatin' my homeys and my peeps. Dey
 pissed a nugga off when they tried to make me look like I'm not real or
 somefin. Matter of fact, dey shady asses be on the take anyway.

 Clinton: This has gone on too long, cost too much and hurt too many
 innocent people.

 Translation: Tryin' to hit me they wasted alot of Cheddar and pissed off
 my Crew.

 Clinton: Nothing is more important to me personally. But it is private,
 and I intend to reclaim my family life for my family. It's nobody's
 business but ours.

 Translation: I'm a pimp and playa and I'm going to be one, dey cant
 change a nugga! Get some busness.' Hillary is chill because I got more
 than enough White Water dirt on her ass, that will get her sent up
 before I'm outtie.

 Clinton: It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the
 prying into  private life and get on with our national life.

 Translation: Get off my jock because I'm going to Flex regardless.  Just
 in case yall forgot until you chumps axe me I'm still the sh-t!

 Clinton: Now it is time - in fact, it is past time - to move on.

 Translation: F-k all yall, I don't give a f-k!, Peace out!!!